Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to lose weight/get abs/gain muscle and never actually started?

Ok, now raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to lose weight/get abs/gain muscle only to quit 3 weeks in when it got hard?

Now put your hands in the air and wave them around like you just…sorry wrong venue.

If you raised your hand for the first two, you are in good company my hand was raised too.

If you raised your hands for the third, get a drink – you’re ready to party.

I had always heard Arnold Schwarzenegger talk about having a vision.  Have a vision of your goal.  You have to visualize winning the competition.  Vision, vision, vision.  I tried to visualize myself as a millionaire.  Spoiler alert, it hasn’t happened.  Hell, I don’t even know any.

I’m sure you heard that you should visualize your goals too.  I’m going out on a limb and guessing your stint as a fortune teller worked just as well as mine.

So why do you think we’ve failed?

I’ll give you a hint.  It has nothing to do with genetics, time, talent, ability or your perceived level of suck.  It all boils down to our Why.  Our Whys were weak.


Chances are when you set out on your body transformation goal (that’s what we’ll call trying to lose weight/get abs/gain muscle) your reason was superficial.  I want to look better.  There is no shame in that.  As the great philosopher Deion Sanders once said:

If you look good, you feel good.  If you feel good, you play good.  And if you play good, you get paid good.

And really who doesn’t want to get paid?

The downside is we are trying to motivate ourselves with a superficial future.  Our motivation wanes at the first road block or after a couple of weeks.

Looks, like motivation tend to fade over time.

Are we destined to look the same way or worse for the rest of our life?  HELL NO!

We just have to dig a little.



He who has a why can endure any how. ~ German philosophizer Frederick Nietzsche

Why is an annoying question.

Like when a child asks you why 500 times, it’s like they are unsatisfied with the answers you give them, which only results in a Because I said so.

Why makes you dig deep; it can help you get down to the root cause of why you want to do something.  From here on out we’ll call our root cause for doing something our Why.

Your Why is what gives you that kick in the ass when the last thing you want to do is workout.  It’s that discipline to help you avoid the vending machine at 3pm.  It’s that thing that pushes you out of bed when all you want to do is sleep for five more minutes.

Our Why is that deep seeded reason we do things – it also changes as we get older.

When I was playing Semi-Pro football my Why was not dying playing against guys that easily outweighed me by 50 pounds (I was a slim 180 at the time).  BTW death or injury is a good reason to do something.

When it was in my 20’s it was all to get chicks.

Now in my 30’s it’s all about longevity and putting forward a physique that I envision being the face of Aesthetic Physiques.

Thankfully, finding your Why doesn’t change.


Getting down to your Why is sometimes a painful process.  You have to play both the patient and therapist all at once.  Feel free to charge yourself with a suitable rate.

To find your true Why you have to be honest with yourself.  If you aren’t you’re just wasting time and things will never change.

No need to write it down or tell anyone.  This is for you to push yourself when it’s the last thing you want to do.

The first step is to set your goal.  I won’t belabor how to set a goal; you can read that here.  After setting your goal and a deadline you need to ask yourself why you want that goal.

Follow that up with another why and if needed, another why.  By the third why you should be pretty deep.  You’ll know your there when you get an emotional response.

That emotional response is the signal of your Why.

To illustrate the process, I’ll show you my Why for my current goal of getting abs this summer.


Get abs.


June 20th

Why do you want abs?

I think as the face of a website called Aesthetic Physiques I should have my version of an Aesthetic Physique.

(P.S.  This is where most people stop.)

Why do you need abs to have your version of an Aesthetic Physique?

I feel like if I don’t then I lose some of my street cred with the stuff I write.

Why do you need street cred?

If people can see me with abs it adds validation to what I talk about which will cause more people to listen and eventually come to the website so I can quit my day job and do this full time.

When you look at it, getting abs really isn’t my true goal – it’s how I’ll feel once my abs are there. I’ll feel like I have more validation and in turn feel better about myself.

Like Deion said if you look good, you feel good.  Everything else falls into place.

Now that you’ve read the transcript of my self-therapy session and got a glimpse into my business plan let’s close this bad boy out.

99.9% of the time, your Why is going to be a feeling you’re chasing.  Other times it’s going to be setting a good example for your kids or avoid having your life cut short from an obesity related disease.

Whatever it is as long as it works for you that’s all you should care about.

I encourage you to take five minutes and try this out.  It might be the missing piece to your getting sexified goal.


P.S.  If you want to see my journey to abs, come join the community.  It’s free and you might be able to pick something up from me or the people in it to help you on your journey.  Just click on the big blue button below.

P.P.S.  Seriously, hit the freakin button.

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