Everybody knows what a pushup is, but do you know the different variations that will take those man-boobs to the next level? I’ll show you.
Let’s do a little role play.
You’re in prison for showing your we-we to your hot neighbor. Turns out she’s not into you that way and called the cops. Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us.
Now while you’re in prison, there is a nice gentleman in the cell next to you that would like to make you his boyfriend. He’s really a sweet guy with life goals, the bring-home-to-mom type.
So in order to save your hind-end, you have two options.
- Craft a make-shift knife and shank him, or
- Start doing pushups to make yourself bigger because you hear his type is weak guys.
Well unless you like prison, which is something I’m not qualified to help you with, let’s skip #1. So pushups it is, this I am qualified to help you with.
So you start doing pushups, but after a few days it gets boring and you can blast out 25 without even breathing heavy. You are an avid Aesthetic Physiques reader; you know you need to overload your muscles with weight to grow them. And right now your bodyweight isn’t cutting it.
Since you’re in prison you don’t have access to the normal gym equipment like a weighted vest or even plates to increase the weight. There is really only one thing we can do now to protect your butt, use different pushup variations to help you grown bigger.
15 PUSHUP VARIATIONS TO PROTECT YOUR BACKSIDE
THE EXPLOSIVE PUSHUP
Target: Chest and Arms
FEET ELEVATED PUSHUP
Target: Upper Chest and shoulders
TYPEWRITER PUSHUP
Target: Chest and Arms
WIDE PUSHUP
Target: Chest
DIAMOND PUSHUP
Target: Arms
CORKSCREW PUSHUP
Target: Core and Chest
AZTEC PUSHUP
Target: Chest, Arms and Core
SINGLE ARM PUSHUP
Target: Arms and chest
THE SPIDERMAN PUSHUP
Target: Core
STAGGERED PUSHUP
Target: Core and Chest
T-PUSHUP
Target: Upper Body
SINGLE LEG PUSHUP
Target: Upper body and core
1.5 PUSHUP
Target: Chest. Make sure you do the ½ up from the floor to mid-way, it’s the toughest part of the movement. Translation: You’ll get stronger quicker.
ECCENTRIC PUSHUP
Target: Chest. Puts extra stress on your chest for more time under tension.
PIKE PUSHUP
Target: Shoulders
This list should keep you busy and keep your potential suitor at bay for a little bit. I wish you the best and remember to eat a lot of protein to fuel the muscles to grow!
See this is what happens when I read a book from a prisoner’s perspective of life at Alcatraz. Damn books.
If you know someone who could benefit from this article, please share it on Facebook or Twitter. 2 out of 3 people are obese today, let’s start a change. Or if you know someone going to prison.
Dave
